It’s difficult sometimes, not just to be yourself, but to remember who yourself is. Life tries to mess you up, make you forget what you believe in; forget what it is you’re fighting for. When that happens, we stop fighting and get lost in the chaos.
Don’t get me wrong, this is actually when it get’s interesting…
The chaos isn’t always a bad thing, sometimes it takes some chaos to make you find something, and even better realize that it was never lost to begin with.
there is nothing worse than what goes on in your own head. it’s a symphony of chaos and noise; non of which you can make any sense of. i closed the door to myself a long time ago and it seems like the noise i tried to run away from has now become something i am searching for. through the noise, even if non of it made any sense, i was able to at least unconsciously feel like myself. the noise moved me from place to place. it was violent and harsh, and sometimes pushed me towards things i didn’t know i wanted. at least then i was fighting for something, whereas now the noise is gone and i am still here. chaos breeds action and motion, it fuels you and confuses you. through chaos the search for silence leads you through the noise and helps you find much more than what you thought you wanted. we spend our lives looking for answers and in that lies the biggest error. the search for answers is fueled by questions and the answers we find are rarely the ones we were looking for. because the truth is the answer always lies in the question. and the fault in spending your life looking for answers, is that at one point you either find an answer and stop living, or keep looking for answers without remembering what the question was to begin with.