i woke up this morning after having had the most bizarre dream. funnily enough i dreamt that i was Harry Potter trying to distroy the last hawkrux in order to kill Voldemort. i will preface this by saying that the last time i watched that movie was a couple a weeks ago, but it was still quite strange. the entire dream i was wearing the hawkrux (the locket  one for those of you familiar with the Harry Potter movies) and i kept trying to drown myself while wearing it thinking that if the person wearing it were to die then it would die too. that's not how it goes in the movie, but it seems my head was mixing things from all over the place. the thing i found to be most bizarre was that i kept going to people i knew and asking them to help me drown, and sure enough they did; even though i never actually succeeded. i don't know what my unconscious mind was trying to work through, but when i woke up i did feel a little like someone who has been trying and failing at something for a long time. maybe its because i've been in hiding for a while now, and just yesterday i decided to get up and start trying again. trying to be better, trying to do more, trying to be more open to myself within my own thoughts. and with trying comes failing, but in the end all it takes is one, one success to put you back on the right track. and you'll never get that unless you keep on trying.