Someone once said that indiscriminate niceness is overrated. That in itself is true, because being nice isn’t necessarily kind; a simple word with a lot of meaning. There is a subtle difference between the two, and it lies in small variances in behaviour.
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about…” Being kind isn’t merely in giving advice or trying to fix the problem. Sometimes what people need is just to be heard; to be found.
Every now and again we forget to be kind to people even the people closest to us. Maybe it’s just me, but I still notice all the small gestures and little things that shed light on how a person not just feels about you but thinks about you. It is normal to take people you love for granted a little, especially after long periods. Small kindnesses are a way to see how much time and space you occupy in a person’s thoughts; rather than their hearts.
When you love someone they will always be in your heart, but to love someone they also need to be in your thoughts…
“The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?”
by Milan Kundera, from “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”
Sometimes the things that we struggle with the most, the thoughts that weigh the most heavily on our shoulders, are in themselves our objects of greatest virtue.
No matter how tremendous they become, you have to ask yourself, what would you be left with without them? Is substance a burden? Life without any conflict or tribulations is easy. Yet the emptiness left behind becomes in itself a burden.
So the question becomes a matter of choice between the weight of substance, duty, and love, versus the sometimes overwhelming weight of nothing; of insignificance…
I may have changed for you; but I will not be changed by you. Choice is the only divine quality that we possess. It was my choice to love you; at first. Then love took it from there. Now I find myself standing back at the beginning, Looking out into the light that is fading, Looking in until I see what I could not. Now I know that the right choice was clear all along, but love wanted it to be wrong.
I may have changed for you; but I won’t be changed by you.
an empty room sets the stage. a hollow silence sets the mood. an explosion scatters the pieces of sharp glass. they’re all hurt, and all I can do is run to help them all. they are the loves of my life and in the rush of adrenaline all i know to do is to save them… and I do…
moments pass and I see her standing down the hallway. I am surprised to see her because she has been gone for so long. she signals to me with her hands, asking me to join her. only then do I realize that in rushing to help everyone else I couldn’t save myself…